And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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