why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
