no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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