Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize