I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
