Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
