dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
