He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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