JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
third nipple confirmed
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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