Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize