awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
