We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
