I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
