Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
