i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
