u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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