did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
