He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
