i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
