i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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