I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
