he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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