It's Friday. Sex?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We are all done wearing pants today
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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