One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you win again, gameday.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
