I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
