Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
