my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
