You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
