i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
