it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
