No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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