Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
