We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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