id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
