I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
