trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dear god my vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
