It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
