I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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