it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
