I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
