you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I didn't shave. On purpose
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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