We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
