He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
