hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize