Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
