its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
