i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
