I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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