I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize