I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
