ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
