Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
