just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
