We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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