If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
