Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I need moral support for this bender
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
