Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
