my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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